What Is Charisma?
While developing charisma, it’s important to be yourself, even if that means skipping stressful public events and choosing smaller, more intimate gatherings where you can communicate effectively.
Charisma cannot thrive without originality, without a genuine curiosity and concern for others.
Start from there, and people may find you irresistible, in the following article What is Charisma… How to be more attractive?
What is charisma?
Researchers have studied the effects of charisma for decades, but few studies have attempted to elicit the specific characteristics people mean when they say someone is charismatic.
The study narrowed it down to two traits: affectiveness and friendliness.
The researchers in this study defined empathy as emotionally friendly.
Friendly people with a wide range of personalities often smile and make others feel comfortable.
They said the effect was a kind of magnetism: the ability to attract attention.
An influential person is more likely to assume leadership responsibilities and is considered persuasive.
Charismatic people usually share these characteristics:
They are very warm and feel efficient.
They have strong social skills, they communicate well both verbally and non-verbally.
They often display somewhat unconventional behavior.
They are loved.
You don’t have to be open about life to be truly attractive.
Even if you describe yourself as awkward, introverted, or shy, you can learn to become more engaging in your social and professional interactions.
Experts in the social sciences say one of the main keys may be figuring out what kinds of settings you feel most comfortable in.
Not everyone can feel warm and socialize.
If you’re better able to be your true self somewhere, make those places a place for conversation instead.
Forcing yourself to fake it out in situations that are stressful in nature probably won’t make you any more likable.
How to be more attractive.
Some behavioral scientists say it is a myth to think of charisma as an inherent quality.
To increase your presence, perceived warmth, and likability, incorporate these skills into your communication style.
People read a smile as an invitation to approach.
So, if you want people to feel welcome and a sense of belonging around you, allow yourself to smile genuinely — one of those warm smiles that reach into the wrinkles near your eyes.
Look people in the eye.
A little context is necessary here. There are situations where being seen directly in the eye eye contact while you are talking to a stranger can help with good communication.
All in all, looking someone in the eye sends a clear message that you are paying attention.
Researchers have found that looking at someone directly activates the part of the brain associated with rewards and social engagement.
In studies, looking someone in the eye makes people more likely to rate you as attractive, competent, and likeable. If you’re trying to boost your charisma, a direct gaze provides big payoffs for your conversation.
Put your hands over your eyes and use them to help you speak
Hand gestures, by themselves, are a very effective communication strategy. They are especially powerful when used to emphasize, highlight, or represent the ideas you are communicating.
Hand gestures are visually captivating and, when used to emphasize meaning, deepen understanding. In fact, the same parts of the brain that interpret speech also process the meaning of hand gestures, perhaps because humans may have communicated with gestures long before thoughts were expressed with words.
So, when you’re in a meeting – whether it’s virtual or in person – it’s a good idea to keep your hands open, at a table or desk, subtly sending a signal that you’re trustworthy and honest. And it’s a better idea to let your hands do the talking as much as possible.
Have a predictable pattern.
Researchers have found that when people expect a predictable pattern, the sudden appearance of the unusual jolts the learning and memory centers of the brain.
The feel-good chemical dopamine is released, and two actions ensue: the brain symbolizes the new experience to be stored in memory, and the reward centers prompt you to seek out more of the same.
If you want people to remember you, it’s a good idea to start by sparking their curiosity.
Leaders admit their shortcomings
Researchers have found that when leaders acknowledge their shortcomings, it enhances communication and compassion in the entire group. People tend to view these leaders as charismatic.
People often describe charisma as an exceptional ability to communicate an inspiring goal or vision to a group of people.
But everyday charisma isn’t necessarily about one-way, top-down communication. It is about being fully present and responsive in conversations between two people.
If you want people to remember you, listen to them. Really listen, without interrupting, checking your phone, or directing the conversation back to yourself.
Whether you’re on a date or at a shareholders’ meeting, your conversation partner speaks with body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and words.
Be curious about what they say. If you notice a flicker of fear or a flash of anger, ask questions to find out more.
Genuine concern for others is disguised. Researchers have found that listening quietly, with your full attention, and without judgment makes people feel cared for, appreciated, and respected.
Say their name
In one of the best-selling self-help books of all time, How to Win Friends and Influence People, author Dale Carnegie reminded his readers that people love to hear their own name.
Neuroscience supports Carnegie’s claim.
When the researchers used functional resonance imaging to track the responses, they found that several parts of the brain light up when people hear their own name.
When you’re in a conversation, be sure to mention the other person’s name, especially when it’s time to say goodbye.
If you are introducing someone, say their name and mention one of their accomplishments.
Look for reciprocity
Charisma is as much about communication as it is about impressions. As you interact with people, watch for shared experiences, ideas, and relationships.
Maybe you drive the same car, or support the same team, when you find something in common, don’t be afraid to ask questions or dig deeper.
Real connection is not an instant action.
Forming a relationship with another person is a bold act — and your body rewards you for taking that brave step. Powerful neurochemicals, including dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are released during social interactions.
The researchers believe that reward for social connectedness may have evolved because survival may have depended on social group interactions.
Charisma may seem like a gift or an inherent personality trait, but many behavioral scientists believe it can be learned.
Some researchers say that charisma stems from how likable you are (emotional accessibility) and influence (your ability to move or motivate others).
Others are likely to see you as attractive if you smile a lot, make eye contact, make eye contact, and say their names frequently.
People will also find you more likable if you create a connection with them by listening attentively, owning your idiosyncrasies and weaknesses, and looking for commonalities with them.